Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
