The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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