hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
