I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You did what with his pubic hair?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
