is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
