Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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