shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So much Jack, so little girl.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
