My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My dick has a subreddit
BRING THE BAGELS
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
