I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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