You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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