Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
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