JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize