Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
