Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
