Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
