U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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