Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
