After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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