I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
