Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize