My hand turned me down
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
