Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
