By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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