when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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