Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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