i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
