So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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