hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Found your dick twin last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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