So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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