I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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