he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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