You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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