I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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