You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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