Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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