I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
