i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
