Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
