I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
