I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
