I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
this hospital has no fireball
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You ruined the universe
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize