watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
