And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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