you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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