So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
