He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
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Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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