I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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