This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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