so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
