im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
