im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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