And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
