In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
