I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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