You're my little dorito
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
