it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am one with the molecules
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
