I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
