GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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