can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
