just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize