found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
