Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
