they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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