cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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