SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
